Flaming Foxes

A short time ago, in a galaxy not so far away, I had the pleasure of being introduced to the most amazing...being...i have ever had the pleasure of being introduced to. He was a fox. Mind you, he was not an ordinary fox. He was the fuzziest, tallest, strongest pyromaniac fox you could find. My new fox friend, whom we shall call Fuzzy the Uber Fox, was not always a fuzzy, tall, super, pyro fox. It all happened so suddenly, and had something to do with killer cottage cheese. Fuzzy the Uber Fox was walking through the forest, minding his own business, when he stumbled upon a shiny silver object, no bigger than a book of matches. This small object, however, was better than a box of matches will ever be, because it was a Zippo lighter. Now, Fuzzy was fascinated with his new found toy, and decided to see how it worked. He held it in his paws and spun the wheel with his nose, which had seemed like a great idea to him at the time. He quickly changed his mind when his whiskers were engulfed in flame. Fuzzy the Uber Fox ran around the forest looking for a way to put out his still flaming whiskers, when he saw it: a plastic carton labeled Darigold. It took him all of two minutes to get the container open, but give him some credit, he doesn't even have thumbs. Once it was open, Fuzzy didn't wait a second before he thrust his nose into its contents, later identified as two-year-old cottage cheese. Suddenly, there was an explosion, and Fuzzy was covered in killer cottage cheese! But he was heard from again. When he regained consciousness, Fuzzy the Uber Fox was transformed, and, to his delight, even had thumbs! Fuzzy is now a five-foot-tall silver fox that is addicted to fire and eats nothing but cottage cheese.